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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

OMG What god forsaken company is this where they don’t allow clutter?  Who the living hell works in this cubicle?  NO NO NO.. this is NOT the way to live in a cubicle!  No Monkeybutt Powder or McDonald’s toys anywhere!!!  This poor girl only gets to decorate her cube with “useful”  WORK RELATED CRAP?  WTF?! What’s that about?  Her only flair is a small bulletin board with her Dreams written and a couple of wishful photos? Yeah, like thats ever gonna happen.. Dream on Sucka..  

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I woke up this morning with a small boulder in my eye.  I have no idea how a boulder gets in your eye while you are sleeping, but it happened.  I swear.  So freaking painful.  I tried to sleep in a little until it went away but it just wouldn’t so I get up and head to work.  Trying to drive with a boulder in your eye is really hard.  It hurt so freaking bad that I decided to whip into my doctor’s office to have the boulder removed. Of course my doc couldn’t see me until 3:00pm so they send me to urgent care (Med 7 in Natomas).   I get to urgent care and they don’t open until 9:00.  Really?  OK.  so I sit in my car for an hour waiting with the boulder in my eye.

At 2 minutes until 9:00 I get out of my car and wait in front of their door.  I’m the only one there.  Then all of a sudden a lady in a business suit holding her briefcase and ipad saddles up right next to me in front of the door.  I’m thinking she works there or is a pharmacy rep.  When the worker unlocks the door, I open it and the lady just strides right in…. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!  OK.. I’m still thinking she has business and couldn’t possibly be a patient cutting in line.   She heads right up to the window and said she needs to see a doctor because she isn’t feeling good.  OMG what an f’ing BITCH!  I have a boulder in my eye and she cuts right in front of me.  Some people just don’t give a shit and are so entitled!  If she had been at the door first, I wouldn’t have cut in front of her!!    Of course I didn’t want to cause a scene so I just let the lady get served and let KARMA take care of her later.

PS. I still have a boulder in my eye.

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Over the years I’ve seen it all.  I mean coo-coo crazy shit when it comes to cubicle decorating.  Remember a typical cubicle is only about 6×6 feet.  A tall guy couldn’t lay down in his cubicle without having to go into the fetal position.  The inside of the cube is made up of modular furniture that is put together in pieces.  Typically there are bookshelves with sliding front covers.  However no one, I mean NO ONE uses these spaces for book shelves.. (me included)  these valuable surfaces are used to display all of your crap.  When I say crap, I mean nic nacs you pick up at the 99 cent store, crap that was given to you as a gag gift, toys, souvenirs from theme parks and stuff your kids made in 1st grade (they are now in their 20s).  It’s like people purposely go all trailer trash with their cubes.  You might have a totally put-together house right out of Living Magazine, but I bet you my last dollar your cubicle looks like a teenagers junky bedroom.  For example, I had a bottle of Monkey Butt Powder that was given to me as a joke proudly displayed on my shelf for 10 years. Really?  I guess since I sit on my ass 8 hours a day, that monkey butt would have come in handy at some point for my seat rash, Ima thinkin’ so I kept it around, plus the name Monket Butt was so damned funny and sooo work appropriate!

I’ve seen cubes with doll figurines 6 rows deep on risers covering every flat surface. And don’t get me started with the sports teams fanatics… they could open up a sports memorabilia store.  People start collecting and what better place to display all of your collectable McDonald’s happy meal toys from the past 20 years than in your cubicle where lets face it… you get more traffic than your house!

My small collection of crap in my Cube.

Nose glasses??  Really???  Well, they have come in handy on occasion… don’t ask.  I had already thrown out the Monkey butt powder… I wish I hadn’t.   Also, shamelessly plugging my books at work.  Oh yeah..

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